A first year drama student at the University of Bristol last night offered up a clear path to peace in the Middle East, which has led to mass celebrations through the world.
The UK’s President-elect Jeremy Corbyn was the first to offer his praise to Nathaniel Tompkins, hailing the 18 year old from Billingshurst, Sussex as ‘an unparalleled visionary of the modern era’.
Other world leaders and radical free-thinkers such as Vladimir Putin, Russell Brand and President of the Nation of Goa Laxmikant Parsekar were also quick to lavish praise upon his plan.
Tompkins says his roadmap to peace is based on a theory of ‘higher consciousness and reciprocated love… [and] pretty fucking simple when you think about it’.
Key tenants of the philosophy center around the immediate ceasing of hostilities by absolutely everyone, generally less nastiness, regular tantric exercises and perhaps some LSD micro-dosing.
When asked to expand on the theory by other members of the party later in the night, close associated stated he was unable to comment further as he’d consumed ‘a large and particularly wonky line of ketamine.’