Rockstar of superfoods and superhero to the planet David ‘Avocado’ Wolfe has has been hospitalized after choking on an avocado. He is said to be recovering and in a stable condition after the spiritual community banded together to send positive vibes his way.
Wolfe, who was performing tantric breathing exercises whilst quaffing his 19th avacado of the day unexpectedly inhaled the avocado. He immediately made a camomile tea with added turmeric but this usual full proof cure for everything from cancer to athlete’s foot failed to work on this occasion.
Some are rushing to declare this a karmic event, to punish him for eponymously naming himself after a fruit, and for years of spouting “nebulous bollocky drivel” around the mystical qualities of dark organic chocolate and water alchemy. However we at Big Karma totally disagree with this statement and believe in anything and everything he says.
Despite rejecting modern medicine, it is reported that neither Wolfe nor his family took issue with him being rushed straight the closest major hospital facility. It is here where he received a number of modern artificial medicines, all of which ultimately saved his life.
Our thoughts, prayers and good vibes are with the av-cav at this difficult time.